Obsequious Underling (OU): There’s an invitation from England for you, your most attractiveness.TAFKPM (The Artist Formerly Known as PM): What’s that? Another one of Mohamed Al Fayed’s parties?OU: No, your most charmingness. It’s from the International Institute for Strategic Studies. They want you to give a speech.TAFKPM: Who? Inter… instant stubby-what? Never heard of ‘em.OU: Uh, actually your most wiseness, Thailand has been sending defense officials to their Shangri-La Dialogue meetings in Singapore for several years now, so you have heard of them. The International Institute for Strategic Studies is a very prestigious organization.TAFKPM: Oh, that “International institute for Strategic Studies.” Of course I know all about them. But you remember what my PR advisors said: no more trips to Singapore and no more contact with anyone from Singaporean companies or the government. I’m not even supposed to say the word “Singapore” in public. That James Baker is such a hardass.OU: Don’t worry, your most articulateness. It’s scheduled for March 2 at their headquarters in London.TAFKPM: So what do they want me to talk about? Life after the premiership? Hey, will Tony be there? Mega projects? The Thailand Elite Card? Telecommunications? Tax law?OU: The topic is “Democracy at a Crossroads,” your most insightfulness.TAFKPM: Hahahahahahahaha! Very funny, Obsequious. Hahahahahahahaha!OU: I’m not joking, your most generousness. This is what it says here. See?TAFKPM: Seriously? But what the hell do I know about democracy?OU: Well, uh, remember you were popularly elected.TAFKPM: Oh, that “democracy.” Of course I know all about that. But what the hell do I know about building roads? Runways, maybe, but not roads.OU: Actually that’s “crossroads,” as a metaphor. Don’t worry, your most captivatingness. We’ll write the speech for you while you’re out playing golf. It’ll be the usual “selfless, man of the people” stuff.TAFKPM: You promise they’re not going to do that “question and answer” thing like they do in parliament there? I should tell them what a mistake that is. Imagine if I had to stand there and take that kind of abuse from punks like Abhisit.OU: Please stick to the script, your most virileness.TAFKPM: OK, OK. I’ll do it. How much does it pay?