Issue Date: 
Feb 22 2007 - 11:00pm
Author: 
Page3
Topics: 
city living

Poor little Amy. There she is, determined to complete her degree while working part-time as an actress to pay her tuition. She’s still struggling to make a name for herself, so it’s important for her to get out as much as possible to network—shake hands, give out business cards, do the air-kiss thing.When she received the invitation, Amy knew she had to go to the Subhanahongsa Awards, even if she couldn’t afford enough material for a proper outfit; there was no fairy godmother in her life to show up with a horse-drawn carriage and a gown by Armani. So she bought as much bargain-bin black fabric as she could and found a seamstress who was able to patch together a dress that covered the important bits of Amy’s body. It was pretty tight—also to conserve fabric—so tight that onlookers might be able to identify the pattern of her underwear (had she been wearing any), but she knew that discomfort was part of being an actress and she was determined to walk down that red carpet….There’s no business like show business, and don’t we know it here in Amazin’ Thailand. Filipinos sing, we act—from former prime ministers (the current one still has a lot of work to do, delivery-wise, but he’s learning) to sappy soap stars to football players within tripping distance of the penalty box.For example, over at Suvarnabhumi, It’s officially known as “personality training,” but what those 1,200 Immigration officers have been up to behind closed seminar doors are acting lessons. You know, so they can act like they’re happy to see you when you limp up with your greasy face and disheveled clothing after a hellish packed flight and then a marathon walk from the gate. So that they can act like they’re happy to be sitting there in their suffocating polyester uniforms under the cold metallic light facing lines that re-generate like snakes.And back to those Subhanahongsa Awards, what if not acting were those university officials, film company presidents and other easily sidetracked moral authorities doing? Nice righteous indignation, guys!Some particularly cynical observers have suggested that young Chotiros’ tears of remorse were also acting, that reading books to the blind and having to burn that dress is a fair and calculated trade for the name and face recognition she now commands. After all, you couldn’t buy that kind of PR, even if you hired a firm where a former US secretary of state is a partner.We can’t believe that she is quite that clever, but if she is we might warn Amy to be careful what she wishes for. One minute you’re on top of the world, the next you’re fighting off paparazzi, and the next you’re bald and crazy Britney.